Departing Lovers
by Queen of Shadows
Summary: Part of my Saying Goodbye series. A Shelby POV from the scene in Because I Love You when Scott and Shelby are saying there goodbyes. Please R&R.


I was sitting next to him on the bench and I couldn't stop the tears from streaming down my face.

Tonight made it real. He was really leaving. The only guy I have ever loved and opened up to was leaving me. He was getting out of this place. He was finally going to go home and live out the life he has always wanted.

I had so many emotions going through me right now. I was happy for Scott because he was finally able to lead a normal life again. I was mad that the one guy I ever loved was leaving me and I was sad for all of those reasons. He was going to lead a normal life and I wasn't and he was leaving me for his normal life.

I wouldn't look at him. I kept my gaze forward, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"Shelby, I have to go. I can't stay here if I got any chance at all of being recruited the right schools. I can't stay here," Scott said to me.

I listened to his words and forced myself not to break down and cry. I didn't look at him but I still knew he wasn't looking at me; he was looking down.

I took a short breath and finally willed myself to speak.

"I know," I said and he finally looked at me but I still wouldn't look at him. "It's okay. I mean, you have a life. Who says you shouldn't go live it?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Scott look down. I heard him sigh. He took in a breath and looked at me again. I was still looking away.

"We...we can write letters and we'll talk on the phone," He said.

I looked down and smiled. I had forgotten how hopeful he could be.

"And...you can come and stay at my house--we got lots of room. And I'll come and visit you here," He continued.

I didn't continue to look down. I looked away. He was giving me false hope. I didn't want to listen for then I would hold on to it and I would be holding on to something that would never happen.

"It doesn't have to be that bad," He finished.

I finally looked at him. He was so naive. And I loved him so much.

I looked into his eyes and then down at his full, soft lips that I had kissed countless time before. All I could think about while looking at him, was that I would never be able to do it again. I would never be able to loose myself in his baby blue eyes. I would never again, after tonight, be able to kiss those lips of his or be able to be held by him.

That thought made me feel the desire--the need to kiss those lips. I leaned into him and put my lips to his. It was just a short, soft brush of lips that felt too much like a good-bye kiss to be comforting.

I pulled away from the extremely short kiss and rested my head in the curve of his should as her put his head on top of mine.

I nodded softly to myself and said, "It is that bad."

I didn't want to believe was I was saying. My heart felt like it was being ripped out as I came to the realization that we really wouldn't last after he left. I knew it in my head from the moment he told me was leaving but my heart was still in denial up until this moment.

"But, that's the way it is," I said. "So let's not make promises we know we won't keep."

I felt and hear him look away. I knew he didn't want to hear but I was saying but I also knew that what I was saying this very moment, were correct.

"Let's not hope for things we know will never happen," I said.

I lifted myself off of Scott and looked at him. He was looking down, shaking his head. He turned his head and looked to me and in that moment, that brief moment of looking into his eyes, I let my heart pour out.

"In my whole life," I started. "No one has ever looked at me the way you do."

I saw that Scott was obviously feeling guilty about leaving now. That wasn't my intention at all. I didn't want him to feel guilty; I wanted him to know the truth.

"No one has ever touched my face," I continued and Scott looked away as if he was about to cry which I was already doing. I saw him wipe a tear away and then continue to listen to me. "Or brush my hair out of my eyes like you do." I paused and looked down. "And, then, maybe this is really selfish but it's not just you I'm gonna miss. It's the way I feel when I'm with you that I'm gonna miss even more."

Whenever I was with Scott I always felt perfect. I never had to worry about whether I was pretty enough or not or him not accepting me due to my past for I knew he liked me for him; the whole package. I was enough for him and I never felt like I had to please anyone for I was already pleasing him by my very existence.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Scott shake his still lowered head.

"It doesn't have to be over," He said and looked at me. "It doesn't have to be the end."

I didn't want it to be over but I knew it was and I didn't to lie to myself or try to get myself to think otherwise.

"Yeah, it does," I said and nodded. "So...just...say good-bye. Okay? Please, just say it." I tried to make my voice sound indifferent but I knew it dripped with sadness.

Scott looked away from me and he looked like he wanted to scream. He didn't want this to be the end and neither did I but it was whether we liked it or not. Scott turned to me again with a determined look. He wasn't going to say good-bye. I could tell. He wasn't going to let himself believe this was the end.

I pleaded with my eyes for him to say good-bye. I didn't want him to make the same mistake I did when I left without saying good-bye. He still didn't say anything.

I leaned into him again and wrapped my arms around his neck. He lifted one of his arms and put it around me, hugging me back. I wanted to hold onto him forever. I wanted to stay in this moment forever with me being in his arms and holding him. I wanted to freeze the moment but I knew I couldn't.

I closed my eyes while I was still in his arms. My heart but screaming at me saying, _You don't want it to end!_ But my mind had more sense. My head was saying, _It is the end. Everything ends sooner or later. _I realized that my mind was correct and my heart was telling me lies. And now all I could do was cry in the arms of my departing lover.

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(**A/N**)-Please reveiw! This is the first time I've taken a scene and tried to do a POV with it. If enough people like this, I'll try a Scott POV which would be chapter two but Scott's harder for me to get in to. I can get into Shelby easily because I have so much in common with her(personality, history, emotions) But please tell me what you think. I would hate to write another chapter with an attempted Scott POV if you hate this one.


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